


Where He Dwelleth None Can Say

by BladeoftheNebula



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Alien Invasion, Alternate Universe, Eleventh Doctor Era, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-11 23:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BladeoftheNebula/pseuds/BladeoftheNebula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Leonard McCoy goes to his perfectly ordinary job at the hospital only to have a man in a suit and trenchcoat fall out of the ceiling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where He Dwelleth None Can Say

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or their universes, and I make absolutely no money from my musing. (Though how I wish I owned them, oh the things I would do!) Some Dialogue borrowed from the Doctor Who episodes 'Gridlock' and 'The Sound of Drums'. Title is a quote from The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R Tolkien.
> 
> Also available at my LJ: http://bladeofnebula.livejournal.com/1942.html

Leonard wasn’t quite sure why his day had gone from bad to out of this world supremely worse. All he knew was that it had gone from the pain of waking alone and being unable to have his morning coffee bad,- because the cheap machine he’d picked up for his post-divorce apartment, decided to break down, again- to having his workplace invaded by aliens bad. Large green aliens with claws on the ends of their arms and large dark eyes, who looked like they belonged in a B grade sci-fi film. But what had really topped the whole surreal day off, was when HE had arrived. Leonard and the rest of the staff on the 4th floor had managed to get away from the marauding aliens, barricading the OR doors with beds and machines. The aliens outside were ramming the doors, the barricade weakening with every jolt. The hospital staff stood back, unsure what to do. Then a man had dropped out of the ceiling. He stood up and dusted himself off, then turned to his audience with a smile.

“Hello there!” He offered cheerily, the smile fading slightly when all they did was stare. The man wore a brown suit, with tie and trenchcoat, and- Leonard eyebrow lifted in surprise- faded red chucks. He had brownish-blond hair, and was sort of boyishly attractive. Just because Leonard didn’t date didn’t mean he was blind.

Leonard stepped forward from the group and cleared his throat. “Who are you, and how the hell did you get in the ceiling of our OR?”

The man’s eyes flicked to him and the grin returned in full force. “I climbed through the vents. Then I removed the panel with this baby” he brandished a small glowy blue stick, which Leonard raised his other eyebrow at.

“And that is…..?”

“Duh! A sonic screwdriver, only the most awesome thing in the universe”

Leonard sighed. He was clearly dealing with a child, no matter what the man looked like. “Right. Whatever. But what your saying is there’s a way out through that hole there” he said as he indicated the ceiling. When the man nodded, Leonard turned to his medical staff.

“Right. Geoff, Henderson, start helping everyone through that gap. I don’t know how much time we have before they get in”

He felt a hand on his shoulder, which he discovered was the unknown man when he turned around. “No need for that. I’m here and I will take care of it”

Geoff looked to Leonard, and Leonard gave a nod for them to ignore the stranger and continue the evacuation.

“You’ll take care of it? What, you’ve got some kind of anti-alien spray under that jacket or something?”

The man looked at him. “Sort of. Before I crawled through here, I stopped at the cafeteria, so I have this” He stuck pulled at the lapel of his coat, opening it to reveal a bottle of vinegar. Leonard just stared.

“What in blazes is that going to do? Season us before they eat us?” He growled. They were being attacked by aliens and this guy thought he could defeat them with vinegar? There had to be something wrong with him.

Huh.

Leonard started to wonder if maybe the tunnel in the roof actually led to the psychiatric ward.

The man smirked. “Well Doctor…” he peered at Leonard’s nametag “McCoy, those aliens out there are from a family called Slitheen, from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius, and their bodies don’t react well to acid. So to prevent them from getting what they want, I’m going to go out there and threaten them with this, hopefully scaring them enough to make them head home. I don’t much care for violence you see, so I’d rather the threat was enough.”

“What do they even want?” Leonard asked, trying not to show that he was actually starting to believe that this kid knew what he was doing.

“Well the Slitheen use slipstream compression technology to fit themselves into human bodies. They tend to choose people in power, so a Doctor isn’t usually a target, but…” he walked over to the patient charts that were stacked for the day’s operating schedule. He scanned it and looked up. “this hospital is performing a surgery for an inflamed appendix on a high ranking General. I would say they’re planning on taking over your medical staff in order to get access to him. Now who is the surgeon…” he flipped the page over and smirked.

“Ah it’s you, is it?” he asked Leonard, looking impressed. “Not just a pretty face then”

Leonard flushed slightly. “I’m one of the senior surgeons here. Those cases generally fall to me”

“Very impressive. Do you have a first name to go with those exceptional credentials or is it just L.H?”

Leonard blinked. Dear lord, was he being flirted with in the middle of an alien invasion?  
“I hardly think this is the time…” he began, irritated.

But the man interrupted him. “You are absolutely right. We’ll continue this after I’ve saved the day” He winked at Leonard and then moved towards the barricades.

“Alright step back” he ordered. Leonard checked to see who was left, and was relieved to see the others had all made their way into the ceiling tunnel. Geoff looked at him but Leonard shook his head and waved him off. He didn't exactly know why he wasn't leaving with the others, it was certainly the smarter option, just that it felt wrong somehow, like he needed to be here. He held his ground, turning to give the man a challenging look. The man just smirked.

Then he pulled away the last piece of furniture and threw the doors open.  
The Slitheen on the other side looked at the man in the doorway and let out furious growls. “Doctor” they hissed angrily, and for a minute, Leonard thought they were talking about him, but then they stepped forward and he realised they were talking about the suited man.  
One of the creatures stepped ahead of the crowd growling.

The man chuckled humourlessly. “Ah Blon, long time no see!”

“Not long enough Doctor” the alien said, her companions edging forward slightly.

“You wound me! I thought you’d be over our little encounter before. It’s been long enough”

“You prevented us from destroying the Earth, it’s not something we forget in a hurry Timelord”

Leonard had no idea what a ‘Timelord’ was, or what encounters the kid had had with these things before. What he did know was that one of the Slitheen on the outer of the group was pushing forward claws raised, and the kid hadn’t seemed to notice. Leonard rushed forward and gripping the kid’s collar flung him back, just in time to have the aliens claw slash across his shoulder and chest.  
He groaned in pain and fell to his knees. God it hurt. He heard the kid call his name, but he couldn’t really focus on anything except the brute, who realised that he’d stopped it from attacking its prey. It reared up for another shot. There was no way he would be able to block another attack. He stared into the eyes of his killer for a second before the creature was splashed with something and suddenly dissolved. Leonard blinked. What the hell?

The man moved to stand in front of him. “All of you step back” He said, and Leonard noticed the change in his voice. Gone was the charmer, here was a man with authority.

“I don’t like violence, I really don’t. And I hate it worse when someone hurts something for no reason. I’m going to give you one chance. Leave here and go back to your ship, or I won’t be responsible for my actions”

Blon looked at her fallen companion and then at ‘The doctor’ and then growled. “You seem to be out of your little potion Doctor”

The Doctor seemed to realize this as well and looked a little abashed. “I did not think this one through”

Then he was leaping back and shoving the doors shut again, sliding his blue stick along the joins. He made it over to Leonard. “Quick, that’ll hold them for a bit, but we need to move fast”

He grabbed Leonard’s good arm and hauled him up. Then he started moving the door at the opposite end. “Don’t bother, that one’s locked”

“No door stands a chance against me” The Doctor said pointing the glowy stick against the lock. Leonard heard the click and the door was pulled open, leading them out into the fluorescently lit corridor.  
He let The Doctor lead him until he realised he was being lead towards the exit.

He dug his heels in. “We can’t leave”

“I’m not leaving you are. I’ll handle this, you go back to your safe ordinary life, watch some TV, alright? And get that arm seen to. At a different hospital obviously”  
He didn’t know why, but the man’s casual statement about the state of his life irked him and he tugged free.

“I’m not leaving my patient to be body snatched by aliens”

The Doctor quirked an eyebrow. “Do you even know the guy?”

“I don’t need to! You may be The Doctor or whatever, but I’m A Doctor, which means I owe it to my patients to keep them breathing. I’m not going”

The Doctor looked at him a moment, face unreadable. But then finally he nodded.  
“You’ve got spirit, McCoy. I’ll give you that”

“Well all the spirit in the world ain’t gunna do jack, if we’re still here when they get through that door”

“Point taken. Which way to the General?”

“Upstairs come on”

As Leonard led the way up the stairs to the General’s ward, he couldn’t help but revel in the feeling of being alive. It was the most he’d felt in a good long while.

 

*********

 

They reached the corridor that held the Generals’ ward in good time, slipping down it quietly and entering the room. Leonard barricaded the door while the Doctor scanned the unconscious General for alien influence.

“He’s clean” the man announced cheerily. “Now we just have to get him out of here and then I’ll deal with Blon and her buddies”

“Why you?” Leonard found himself asking, surprised at how the question had simply popped out with no prior thought. Oh well in for a penny, in for a pound. “You keep saying you, don’t you have anyone with you? Someone who could help?”

A pained shadow crossed the other man’s face, and he struggled to recover quickly. “No it’s just me” he smiled a weak smile, clearly trying to put up the front of bravado he’d had before. He managed it in the end, but it was sorely lacking its previous luster.

“Oh” Leonard wasn’t really sure what to say to that. The man seemed like the sort to have a lot of friends and admirers, he couldn’t imagine him alone in the world. Or worlds, since the man clearly has knowledge of alien species.

“Ah don’t worry about me. I get to see so many things, experience so many things. Maybe its worth it in the end” It was meant to be reassuring, but Leonard could still hear the undercurrent of hurt under the words.

“I’ll help you” he heard himself saying, and Good god damn, why couldn’t he control his mouth?

“There’s no way I-”

“Dammit, kid! I say I’ll help you so you’d do well not to get in my way, understand?” The Doctor had chuckled mysteriously when Leonard called him kid, breaking the feeling of melancholy in the room.

Leonard was relieved. It had felt tangible; Heavy and encompassing.

“Well I wouldn’t dream of trying to stop you if your mind is made up…”

“It is” Leonard answered firmly. He felt drawn to this man in a way he couldn’t explain, and the idea of leaving him to face these monsters alone, well. It didn’t bear thinking about.

“Then help me get this patient out of here and then you and I will take care of the Slitheen” The Doctor said with a smile.

Leonard nodded and started to move the blockade from the door. God, what was he thinking? He thought he’d learned his lesson with Jocelyn and yet here he was, already in too deep for having just met the man, (not even a man, a fucking alien of all things) while risking more involvement by his own foolishness. Leonard McCoy you are an idiot.

 

********

 

They wheeled the General out through the corridor on the gurney, Leonard directing them towards the back exit. After using the security elevator to take them to the ground floor, he took them down the darker corridors, the ones only staff ever used until finally he caught sight of the exit. As they approached however, he noticed a shadow out of the corner of his eye and reacted without thinking. He shoved the gurney to the side, causing it to move away from the Slitheen that had come out of the side passage and then darted forward to get out of its range. The Doctor had let go of the bed and had rushed to get past the creature to the exit. He swung the door open and Leonard rushed to push the gurney out through the door, the Doctor rushing out behind him.

He stumbled forward into the brightness of the hospital's rear car park, and found himself face to face with a bizarre sight. There were big plastic barricades 30 meters away, with armed soldiers in black fatigues and oddly, red berets holding the border. He looked and saw M’Benga and the others amongst the crowd, huddled and looking freaked, but unharmed. He looked back at the Doctor who was eyeing the soldiers with distaste, but then moved to help Leonard shift the gurney forward, where it was intercepted by emergency medical teams who took the unconscious and oblivious General for care. Once they near the barricades, Leonard heard a shout. He turned to see a man striding towards them. He stopped a meter away.

“Doctor”

“Colonel Pike” The Doctor greeted evenly.

“Long time no see. Hmmm not since that matter with the Klingons 2 years ago, I believe?”

“I’ve been keeping busy”

“I’m sure you have. So tell me, what are we doing with the Raxacoricofallapatorians in that hospital?”  
Leonard idly wondered who this man was that he knew what those creatures were, and also knew the strange man at his side. He didn’t like being out of the loop.

“Sorry” he interrupted, “But who the hell are you?”

The Colonel turned his gaze to Leonard, eyeing him up. “I am Colonel Pike, Commanding Officer of UNIT. And you are…” He paused as if he was trying to remember, but Leonard had the feeling that the Colonel already knew everything there was to know about him. “Dr Leonard McCoy, aren’t you?”

Leonard nodded, while the Doctor seemed to lose the tension in his shoulders as he turned to him to say; “Your first name is Leonard?”

Leonard looked at him, eyebrow raised. “Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know, you just don’t look like a Leonard”

“Oh, what do I look like then?”

“I don’t know yet, but don’t you worry, I’ll figure something out for you”

Leonard rolled his eyes “Oh Joy”

“Gentlemen” Pike interrupted, drawing their attention back to him. “As fun as this all is, there is still the matter of the Alien threat in that building. Doctor, what are we supposed to do? I get the feeling that you would oppose us simply going in there and wiping out the threat”

The Doctor nodded. “There’s a plan already in motion. You just need to force the Slitheen back to their ships. Without harming them” he added firmly.

Pike looked unsure, but then nodded. “Alright. Consider it done” Then he walked off, shouting commands at the soldiers.

The Doctor turned to Leonard. “We should get that gash seen to” then he grabbed Leonard’s hand, dragging him towards the UNIT medical division.

 

********

 

Colonel Pike pulled off the plan without a hitch, sending the Slitheen fleeing for their ships, which UNIT had managed to find by tracking the landing pattern.  
He came over to the Doctor and Leonard who were in UNIT’s on site headquarters. Leonard had no idea why he was here. He wasn’t exactly of any help. But when he’d said as much to the Doctor, the Doctor had told him not to be ridiculous and pulled him along with him.

Pike smiled at the Doctor. “I don’t suppose you’d like to tell me why I have effectively let the threat go?”

The Doctor grinned smugly. “Simple really. Before I entered the hospital I did a little exploring of their ships. More specifically, their navigational systems. I set the computer to make for Raxacoricofallapatorius, then rigged it to be impossible to change course. Then I hacked their onboard computer and set a virus to go off when they reach home, rendering their ships navigational systems unusable for travel to any other planets its registers as inhabited, Earth for example, which should keep them busy for quite awhile I should imagine. i'll go visit them in a few years, see if they've learnt their lesson”

Leonard stared at him. He’d realised the kid was smart, but the fact that he’d apparently saved the Earth using just his intelligence was pretty impressive. Plus his medical side glowed with the knowledge that he’d apparently found someone who cared about the sanctity of life as he did. He couldn’t help but blurt out

“That’s brilliant”

The Kid turned to him, his smile turning soft and appreciative. “Thanks”

Pike held out a hand to The Doctor. “Neatly wrapped up as always Doctor. Once again, I thank you on  
behalf of the Earth” the two shook hands, and Pike nodded to Leonard before departing.

The Doctor once again took Leonard’s hand, saying “Come with me”, then he led Leonard away from the chaos of UNIT and from his Hospital.

 

********

 

A moment later they stood in front of a blue box, the words Police Public Call Box etched on the outside.  
The Doctor turned to Leonard looking shy all of a sudden. “I don’t suppose you’d consider coming with me?”

“Coming with you?”

“Well I’m a TimeLord. We travel across the Universe”

Leonard pursed his lips. “Space” he said bluntly. He’d always hated the idea of Space. Dark and Dangerous. And vast, so very vast.

“And Time!” the Doctor added enthusiastically.

“You travel in time?!”

“Yup. I’m a Timelord. We do that”

“What’s a Timelord?”

The man’s face turned sorrowful. “Timelords were the race that once lived on Gallifrey. Beautiful planet that. Fields of deep red grass, capped with snow. The second sun would rise in the south and the mountains would shine. She was the Shining world of the seventh system”. He stopped, clearly seeing the planet in his minds eye. He seemed to shake himself suddenly, pushing the nostalgia away. “Well it’s gone now, just me left, the Last Timelord. So I guess it is more accurate to say that I travel in time, its what I do”  
Leonard looked at the man who had saved him and his hospital, who was apparently alone in this universe.

“You have a…spaceship of some sort?”

“Yup. This is my ship”

“That’s a phone box, not a space ship”

The man rolled his eyes. “Humans are so quick to judge”

He pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the door to the box. He stepped over the threshold, then turned back to Leonard. “You want to see?”

Leonard sighed, but obediently followed him. He stepped in, expecting to bump straight into the man, and wondering if this was just some ploy to grope him or something, but then he realised what he was looking at.

He backpedalled back out and stared at the box in shock. The man’s face popped out of the door, looking at him expectantly. “Well?”

“That box is bigger on the inside”

“Yes”

“That’s not possible”

“Not for humans, but for a TARDIS it is”

“Tardis?”

“Stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space”

“Course it does”

The man looked shy again for a moment. “So how about it?”

“How about what?”

“How about you come with me?”

Leonard glared at him. “I can’t just leave my life here to go off gallivanting through space!”

“And time”

Leonard huffed in frustration. “I still don’t even know your name”

“I’m the Doctor”

“No I’M a Doctor. Give me a name not some pretentious title”

“But it makes me sound mysterious!” The man protested, pouting slightly.

“It makes you sound ridiculous. What’s your name?”

The man looked torn for a moment, but then gave a small smile. “Back on Gallifrey they called me Jim”

Leonard nodded. He could work with that. “Nice to meet you Jim” he held out his good hand for Jim to shake. Jim shook it, looking amused.

“The pleasure’s mine Bones”

Leonard tugged his hand back. “What’d you call me?”

“Bones. Trust me, you’ll learn to love it”

“Why Bones?”

“Two reasons. One I have a penchant for nicknames. And two, you risked your life to save a guy you’d just met, and wouldn’t abandon your patient even though you might have been killed by aliens. In my experience that means you’re a good man, all the way down to your bones” He smiled softly at Leonard, which made him feel warmth through his chest.

“So what do you say?” Jim asked. “Want to travel the stars with me? Get a bit more excitement in your life?”

Leonard thought about his life. His failed marriage, a daughter he never got to see. His crappy post-divorce apartment with its unreliable coffee machine. A job at the only hospital desperate enough to risk taking him after the mess with his father, stuck doing routine surgeries instead of the research he so wanted to do. There wasn’t anything really holding him to this place.

He stepped into the box.

“I don’t fly well and I may throw up on you” He warned as he moved up the platform.

Jim placed an arm around him, grinning. “Time to buckle up Bones, I’m going to show you what this universe has to offer”

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> So this was in response to a prompt over at http://st-xi-kink-meme.livejournal.com/ which asked for: "Kirk is a Time Lord, Bones is his companion. Can be slash or gen, though I would prefer slash if possible." So I gave it a shot. I was going for slash, but didn't quite make it, but i like to think it's pretty well implied :)
> 
> Also, I know I should really have come up with my own villain and been all creative and junk, but I love the Slitheen. There can never be too many Raxacoricofallapatorians!!!!


End file.
